An obituary – Brutal death of Jodhpuri Pants at the hands of street tailors

Democratization of Jodhpuri Pants has breached the code of Royalty and brought to streets what could mostly be seen donned by descendants of royal families in Page 3 parties and/or during the Polo game. It first came out of the closet and caught the eyes of shutterbugs when Rohit Bal, famously known as Gudda in fashion circuit, designed a show around these pants and walked the ramp with a battery of macho men led by John Abraham and Arjun Rampal. It was surely a magnificent sight, so much so that it was capable of sending aspirations of a middle class Indian soaring. And, it certainly did! Mine too.

It was in 2009 around my sister’s wedding that I thought of myself in the shoes of those stunning looking men in Bal’s show and had a strong desire to replicate that look on my sister’s big day. I tried finding an authentic Jodhpuri pants in garment shops, but to my surprise I could not find one. My desire was rolled over when I learnt that such pants were not sold to masses and that were made to order. Where could I have found that Master Ji, a revered artisan, to stitch a bespoke Jodhpuri pants for a lesser mortal like me in the modest surrounding of the capital city? Much to my dismay, I dropped the idea.

Come 2012, we see Jodhpuri Pants becoming a rage, a fad and an endemic of sorts. Every other guy is wearing these pants, not necessarily the original pattern, but a range of cheap renditions. In no time, the princely charm attached to these pants is snatched and crushed under the Converse boots of local tailors. These pants are given a new name - Male Leggings. What effing is this name? Least they could have done is to maintain its original name, thereby its lineage and history.

Jodhpuri pants fall from the cliff and enter a league of Wannabes. The impertinent, impenitent youth clamoring for attention forms an integral part of this league. These young men are seen abusing the legacy of yesteryears Maharajas by having the waistline hanging till the bum cheeks revealing their worn out underwear, which could read anything from Jockey to Tommie Hilfiger (not a spelling mistake as counterfeit lingerie does write the name like this), to famous Rupa. They would usually pair these pants with fitted shirts, so fitted that ripples are formed at the centre and buttons make it apparent that they are totally detached, abhor this idea, and willing to fall off.

Well, don’t forget that these are well meaning guys, making a desperate attempt to show off their chiseled torso, so what if their inside is struggling to breathe. The balloon around the thigh area which gave a peculiar shape to these pants has been deflated, perhaps to bring its cost down by saving some money on the cloth. It now in some cases is clinging to the wearer’s thigh in fear of likely ripping. An apparent cloth mask around the thigh results into crotch sticking out. I wonder how the wearer would tackle a sudden erection in such pants. Is he susceptible to ejaculation due to friction that would be created between the inside of his pants and tool? Or would his tool succumb to the pressure and melt down? I am sure if he is a regular member of ‘self service’ then his tool would trespass into embarrassing territory: making its way to the right of the pant as if a thick pen is kept in the pocket originating from the rear not the opening.

I was most amused when I saw a bunch of school kids whose pants were altered to the narrow calves and slightly baggy thighs, giving a stark resemblance to Jodhpuri pants once a royal attire, adding glimmer and glitter to the appeal of his highnesses! Where the world has come to, where are the fashion police, where is the Aam Aadmi Party? Won’t they come forward to save the fate of a rare emerald in authentic Indian fashion? 

Do patrons of Micromax get ‘Nothing like anything’?

Micromax has grown leaps and bounds in all these years and is among the major successes that telephony market in India has ever seen. Its initial innovations were no less than remarkable and had everyone take notice of it. Despite being an Indian brand, assembled and made in Chinese and Taiwanese markets, Micromax rung up to the top league and sat comfortably next to biggies such as Noika, and Samsung, in considerably less time.

Micromax’s rampant success caused heavy losses to other foreign brothers including LG and Sony Ericsson. Micromax did live up to Nothing like anything.

However, as it has happened with other Indian brands in the past, Micromax could not keep up the momentum and capitalize on the hype it initially created. As the story unfolded, its quality which was always a question mark became a reason of its fall from the growing quality conscious, fashionista customer base. Micromax may still have held tight control over the price sensitive, fad catching customers. In my mind, Micromax could easily be called Ravi Kisan of Indian mobile market.

Now that Micromax has reached where it belongs I have for a long time had this question lingering in my mind – what would its patrons make of Nothing like anything? Please bear in mind the customer profile which in my view can be sketched as –

• A willing man belonging to a working class has come to the city from a small town in hope of making big. He is in a stable job or a business, slowly and steadily getting his foot in. He has only opened books to see pictures and rarely read. A half of his teeth are dark red, if not fully spoiled.
• A college-going teen caught in the fad, competing with better offs in his/her surrounding and trying best to catch up with in-things.

The consumer base that Micromax is now serving is quite Desi. Nothing like anything is a US-born phrases to which a parallel can be drawn with I ain’t no anything. They both sound more complicated than they actually are. The literal meaning of Nothing like anything is Incomparable. But, those who must get it for Micromax would actually get it? I have my doubts.

I can say it with lot of confidence that a consumer survey done on what Micromax users make of Nothing like anything will throw some startling results. Anyone interested to pitch in?

Conundrum!

What is a word made up of 4 letters yet is a word made up of 3. Although is written with 8 letter, then with 4. Rarely consists of 6, and never is written with 5.

Some might find in above a conundrum of a sort and to some it might appear simplified. It caught my attention for I could see in it the way we read ourselves – our mind and consciousness. Going back to above, it is a simplified statement which inherits the answer yet as we read it in flow we tend to lose connect and find it all gobbled up.

Doesn’t it present a fitting analogy as to how we tend to catch and lose connect with our core? Often than not many of us are aware of who we are and what we stand for, yet on exposure to temptations we tend to reconcile and shuffle our thoughts over and over again whereas the response stands still before us. On other hand there are those strong characters who hold it firm and read accurately without any aberration.

If there was a belief, “when you want something, the whole universe conspires in helping you to achieve it.” There also exists a reality that the world inside outside you also stops you from believing and clouds your mind and heart to weaken your sight of the core. Those who hail the storm steer pass everything only to be left with elements that work in one’s favor.

Easier said than done! Perhaps this could only be simplified by treading on an even tougher path of unified aim and bringing renunciation in action. Harsha Bhogle summed it up too well in his praise for Rahul Dravid, “giant edifices are built on solid foundations.” The foundation itself runs many out of patience and pose toughest test to your grit and substance. May be that’s why it was said that the real wealth is ‘patience’; patience to not lose hope and conviction that ‘tomorrow never dies.’ 

Rahul (bhaiya) Dravid : My Hero!

It has taken me long time to firm up my mind to write about my idol Rahul Dravid who I fondly refer to as Rahul Bhaiya. If I were asked to speak at length on anyone, I would say Rahul Bhaiya is one among very few I can go on and on about, right from taking references of his records, best innings, attributes, my experience of being with him during my days at Rajasthan Royals, etcetera.

I thought about a blog on him many times but always deferred it thinking it would pan out very emotional, all over the place, and very lengthy. I have never been sure about my projection of him in my blog because for me he is more than just a cricketer. Having read Rahul Dravid: The Timesless Steel and learning about intense love and respect for him in others that I finally decided and felt confident about the line I would take in this blog.

I too can rave about him a Cricketer, his batting, his contribution to the game, but more than that he has moved me as a person. His fundamentals and morals, which are very well projected in his game and on field persona, touched me the most that too at very early age. I remember praying for his good luck in his early days in international cricket in late 90s. I was in school back then. We did not have cable network at home so out of choice I would frequently visit nearby general store to have glimpses of his batting. Now, when I look back I can say without any exaggeration I barely managed to watch his innings at a stretch for more than 20-25 minutes.

I fell in love with his poise, his stance, his stroke play. I would dream about him doing exceptionally well every time he came out to bat. I would hate him getting out; I would wish for whole team to get out but him. I wanted him to be the only reason behind the success of Indian team. He was Cricket for me!

As years passed by, my passion for him did not subdue but my learning of his thinking and vision got better. I did not leave any opportunity to know what he had to say about the game and life in general. I started to like him more; my vision of sport and its spirit got better. I began to realize Cricket is a team’s sport. Not only I learnt about the spirit with which Rahul bhaiya went about his game but also found a great semblance of his thinking in my life. His passion, perseverance and ethics are worth admiring and imbibing.

Perhaps my love and respect for him was genuine that the dream I never dared to see turned real. I not only met him but also spent good 2 months with him on the ground, in the stadium, and in the player’s lounge. I was shell-shocked and spellbound for first few days of my role as media manager of Rajasthan Royals as I had to brush shoulders with Rahul Bhaiya every now and then.

His sight would have been enough but I was lucky to have him leave his seat and come forward to shake hands with me in our first meeting. It was simply the best moment of my life till then and to date. I had to brief him on his media interactions and I was fumbling and mumbling, eyes moist, moved by his largesse and humility.

Rahul Bhaiya for me is epitome of hard work and passion. He is someone every Indian or for that matter any young person can identify with. He of course had abundance of talent, but at the same time most difficult questions were asked of him compared to any other Cricketer of modern era. Had he been weak hearted he would have fizzled out a lot early in his career. But he was not to give up and then came to live an ascetic in him. He would meditate on the field in the cheer and choir by thousands of people in the crowd. He appeared calm as Kungfu master and incisive as tiger.  

As for millions of people, he has been my inspiration too. He inspires me to believe less in destiny and more in myself. He teaches me to have my foot on the ground and prepares me to grind. He is someone I swear by and would look up to all my life.

As anticipated, the blog has not turned out to be as envisaged. I did not wish to shower praise on him and rather talk about finer nuances of his personality and values he embodies. I would like to believe it is impossible for me to capture him fully in a single blog. With the hope I return to him with greater insights, I sight off. This is my short and humble tribute to a man of real steel, timeless steel Rahul (bhaiya) Dravid! He is my Hero, a word that he personally does not like to be associated with. For him, heroes are doctors and soldiers but for me he is no different from them.

Eulogies and thereon….

The past one year has been laden with demise of numerous noted figures: Shammi Kapoor, Dev Anand, Dara Singh, Jagjit Singh, Rajesh Khanna to name a few. An air of sadness surfaces with such unexpected events, and those who care and are genuinely concerned must get affected also.

The stars who left us weigh heavy in stature at some point or the other. They all had talent widely celebrated and made tall contribution to the society in their hay days; some even died working. Among them were those who faced frailty both in health and stardom with growing age and widening gap.

It won’t be an exaggeration to say that some lived a depressed, dilapidated life as stardom dissociated itself from them.  With advent of internet and media, a business that has flourished the most in the wake of such events is of Eulogy. R.I.P, a term that I believe Hindu middle class was ever oblivious of, has now become obvious and a must know.

As the star takes his last breath, every news channel has to carry a breaking news tag – so and so died. Some will go to an extent to state – we are the first one to report the death owing to our deep connections in the family. In no time, netizens spring to action and what follows is a flood of RIPs. Some get creative and upload lyrical text, pictures, videos, audios, and many more.

 The sight has often perplexed me as I think to myself – did anyone care when they were alive? By having decorated, cosmetic concerning posts, are we celebrating their life or death? Often than not those who are the most excited are among the least informed on the person, leave aside having emotional bond or attachment. Then you have fellow FBians liking and commenting on each others’ posts.   

The classic case is of Rajesh Khanna. I have watched quite a few of his movies. I always liked him and somewhat aware of his stardom and superstar status. I also heard stories about he was sidelined and suddenly brought to pits from the height that he had achieved in his not so long career.

It seemed from reports in media that he did not live a happy life ever since he lost his star tag. His personal life was ruined as his close ones alienated him. He was not given due respect and attention by the industry as he grew older. People would mock at his state of being and rarely visit him to check on his health and well being. I think all had kept it in reserve and were waiting for him to die.

His death on the other hand appeared to be a two day festival celebrated across the country. Internet, TV and newspapers all flooded with his photographs and great wordings on him and his work. Something that late Rajesh Khanna would have appreciated and enjoyed had even 1/10^th of this fanfare was bestowed upon him while he was alive. His appearance in Havells commercial testifies the fact that he longed for recognition and fanfare.

He might have tried to make an appeal through the commercial but that too was mowed down by us. He left gasping for more from life and his fans. I do not wish to come across critical of this trend, but yes I am amazed at life and its mean ways. It is heartening to see Mr. Dilip Kumar, another phenomenon, being celebrated in his lifetime. The industry does turn up to celebrate his birthday. 

Anushka defies definition of archetypical men and teaches a lesson or two about dirty habits

In a cluttered environment of TV commercials today, we see biggies such as SRK donning different avatars every other day to keep toothpaste brand alive in a highly competitive market while on the other hand someone as tall in stature as Amitabh Bachchan trying to connect with kids for Maggie. Perhaps a few but there exists a cohort that is churning out intelligently thought-after TV commercials that live up to traditional techniques of positioning and are succeeding in carving a niche.

My personal favorite of late has been the campaign by a new brand called Kara in a relatively virgin market of hygiene and personal care for men. The product here in hand is facial cleansing wipes. I first used such facial wipe not so long ago, offered by a female friend, and then a few times on Kingfisher airlines which is sadly flying low these days. Hope its demise is not caused by overburdening cost of these wipes.  

I can recollect my friend’s exact words when she offered me a facial wipe. She said, ‘you will like it for it is wet, cold and fragrant. It will help you beat the heat.’ I too liked it, perhaps for sheer novelty, but would never imagine buying it myself. I always thought wet tissues/facial wipes are meant for women. It is cosmetic essential. Nor did any women I got in contact with ever frowned or stopped me from using my handkerchief for wiping my face. It was never meant to be a social faux pas as blowing your nose, burping, or farting in public gathering would be.

This commercial further pushes the envelope and gives a new height to the concept of Metrosexuality. It is in your face content wherein actress Anushka Sharma presented as icon for today’s brimming with confidence, young women brigade stares into guys face and teach them a new term called ‘DIRTY HABIT’.

The guys have grown-up caring two hoots for what their parents taught them about good and bad habits. A philosophy that defines an archetypical men in our society is “Shero Ne Kabhi Mu Dhoya Hai” / “Have tigers ever washed face”. Now these are the same guys who are being intimidated by same age women. And not to anyone’s surprise there are plenty to follow the path shown by fellow girls.

Going further into the commercial, Anushka brings about a fact that you should not wipe your face with the handkerchief that you use to wipe your arms or neck with. Doing that would qualify you to be stung by dirty habits and cause as much loss as a girl that you desire to marry. I am sure this commercial would not have caught my attention had it been targeted to women.

A new brand one would imagine vies for share in most obvious established market before venturing into a new territory. But, achievers defy the set rules and create their own. Full respect to Aditya Birla Group, owners of brand Kara, and the creative agency to come up with a highly impactful campaign and hitting the nail on its head.

It will not only make men conscious but also wake-up women to this fact. The commercial directly may not hit the TG and get influx of new business; I assume it will have a gradual effect. It is capable of bringing a new air of change in attitudes. I suspect girls to be more receptive of this commercial and they in turn will coax boys to get rid of the handkerchief for face and switch onto using wipes.

However, the only impediment that I see here is a logistical catch. Men on the go do not carry an accommodating purse as women do. They will face challenge in carrying a pack of wipes because the available space in trouser's pockets is occupied by the other three essentials – cash, handkerchief and mobile. It will be farfetched to say that this product is capable of replacing cotton handkerchief for men. I hope this down side has been registered by the propellers of the brand and are looking into it.

All in all a delight for sucker for good ideas and creative execution.

CAR'NAMA' – Gaadi Ki Sawari!

Hello! It is good to be back after a gap of two weeks. All this while I went through a range of issues and thoughts that pushed me to write, but due to paucity of time, or so called my clock-by-clock routine, could not make it. I am not saying this only to my fellow readers, who I am not sure whether really care, but also to this page who I promised to give my company as much as possible.

Nonetheless, as I sit to write I am going through a range of compelling thoughts, some of which I shared with my new friend Nishtha. Just to let you know, she is impeccable with words and very elegant at expressions. I have met a very few who have as vast vocabulary as she has. I know she usually reads my posts, so many congratulations to her.

I am quite inspired to write about two topics – My fetish for workout and Rahul Dravid. I am sorry I cannot explain why Rahul Dravid in a few lines here. I would rather wait until I finally write about him. The third element that has occupied most of my mental space of late is Car.

Yes, Car. I do not have a Car! I do not drive a Car! It is a confession that I am making, and I do not really feel inferior without a Car.

Before I go any further I want to apologies to all my well wishers who might take offence at this post. And make it clear that I do not write this to show anyone down. You all have been those few ones who I would love to share my happiness and sorrow with. However, I write this to put down what I go through and how I see what I hear and made to feel every now and then.

It is great to own and drive a car. And I very well understand the fact that it is more a necessity in current times than luxury. I will not get into explanation of why I do not have a car. I am more interested in sharing – how I am expected to own a car, why I must have a car, and how is life without a car.

Just to set the pretext before I could dwell over these questions – we never had a vehicle in our family! It was not so much of a trouble until a few years ago. It is not that much of a handicap now also, but somehow I am reminded more about it than ever before. Perhaps one of the reasons could be earlier my financial status was not so sound that I was expected to buy a car. May be now I am! This is not the end of a story. I am also of a marriageable age.

I am sure very few of you would refute that and understand the direct correlation between marriage and owning a car. It is quite obvious now in most of the sects in our society. Otherwise what will my the bride’s father consider and see in me or my family for her daughter. The flip side is if I already have a car, even a second hand, I am likely to get another, fresh one in my marriage as a gift, or if you were to put it crudely, in dowry. Should be an effective profit proposition!

There is many a slip between the cup and the lip. Not everyone is alike. Keeping the morality aside, it is still not a very attractive one. Anyhow, now when I meet people it is taken for granted that I must have a car. Sometimes it is brought up in conversation and that leaves me in lurch whether to correct them or skip the topic. If correct them, then whether to give them an explanation or not.

Ownership of certain ‘must-haves’ is definitely a step ahead in your life. It pushes you up in status ladder. But for some reason if you could not have it at the opportune time or chose to opt out or postpone it till a certain point in future, could this become a matter of great embarrassment and concern?

In my experience, to an extent yes! My father never had it or for that matter many in my relatives and friends did not have it even when they could afford it, nobody questioned and no haste. It would have been totally fine. Not Now!

In my view, it has largely to do with easy access. Earlier loans were not in; less people sought credit from banks. Even banks did not push loans and related schemes down to your throat. Now, you get loan even if you sneezed. And that has made attachments such as ‘ownership of a car’ at a certain level very obvious.

There is one more insight that I have gathered from people who had their eyebrows up on knowing the reality. I do not think it would be exaggeration if I said that quite a few of us are often than not interested in knowing the status of the other person from his/her clothing, sense of style, speaking, etc. And then are the same people who sadly give-in to others’ intimidation and try to live-up to their scrutiny of us.

We must stand for who we are and what we have! We grow to enrich our lives for our wellbeing. Others saw even when did not have and will see whenever we have!

On tactical side, as I said earlier, there is many a slip between the cup and the lip. I wish our roads and infrastructure had not contracted with growing economy and evolving society, lesser mortals like me could afford safe parking and enjoy “GAADI KI SAWARI”. :)