Rowdy, abrasive, offensive, attacking...can we do it with all?  

I stepped out of Gangs of Wasseypur (GoW) perplexed and melancholic. Aesthetically speaking, this film was at par with previous films of this genre such as Omkara, The Dirty Picture, Once Upon a Time, Pan Singh Tomar and more. I am personally a keen watcher of this kind of cinema and appreciate good work by all the departments of film making.

GoW crossed all the lines and was in your face experience. It epitomizes profanity and machismo, I am afraid to use the term male chauvinism as my male readers may tag me feminist if I tried to show them in bad light in any way. It was less about honor and ego but more about exhibiting creative use of foul language, rowdiness in men, and men’s ways with women’s integrity.

There were sequences which provoked response from ‘guys’ in the audience. I would imagine men among guys would refrain from acting frivolous in public; therefore I am using the term ‘guys’. The response induced was not an applaud but proxy dialogues – highly condemning to say the least – as they were disrespectful towards women and, to a large extent, showcasing them as no more than sex objects.

I am sure the filmmaker read well about the life back then in Bihar however he did not take enough care to show it with great authenticity. In an attempt to make the film commercially viable, he brought in lousiness and frivolity. If the film was meant to be docudrama, educating masses of agitation among cartels post independence, then I would say it did not succeed fully to do so. I doubt many will remember the story more than frantic dialogues.

Such films are entertainers, make you laugh, great deal of art direction and impeccable actors put together an ensemble worth loud applause. However, only for and by the audience that has active faculty called Discretion. There exists a large section of society which is highly susceptible to such content. They can get inspired negatively and are likely to exhibit such behavior in real life.

It was only an intuition when I got out of the theatre but was stamped confirmed by an incident I witnessed in my neighborhood the same night. It was a case of altercation between two neighbors. And it suddenly got intensified to an extent that both families resorted to manhandling and violence. I would not say both the families are the most literate in the colony but decently educated and civilized (now I am doubtful whether they actually are).

I do not know the real reason of the brawl but from what it appeared it started off with verbal exchanges which turned to physical attack. Not that it was for the first time I was witnessing scuffle. The most astonishing bit was young boys in their teens battling from the front. The language was at its worst – I could imagine characters in the movie GoW or others in these guys – that too against women. They showed little hesitance in attacking women with baton and pelting stones at them.

By no means could quarrels like that be passed ‘usual’. They definitely give us a hint that exposure that we are provided is doing little or no good, if not exactly bad, to budding generation. Levels of patience are ever decreasing. We are prompted to raise voice and hands against the weak in wake of protection of honor. There is no sense of respect against elderly and fair sex. And speaking of sex, if it does not come easy, then go and grab it is the attitude. Even if that meant going to the extent of molestation or committing rape.

Our society has matured; level of understanding and exposure is far greater than ever before. Kids are smarter; some say new generation is born with three DNA strands whereas our ancestors had only two DNA strands. More the DNA strands more the intelligence.

At the same time there are rising levels of shrewdness, killer instincts, impatience and abrasiveness. 

Movies too have matured with content being set amidst society. Stories are excavated from past, many a time not too rosy and uplifting. We are tagged to be ‘Accepting bold content’. Yes, we are definitely growing in all aspects but in very small proportion. Not all are ready for such high speed, naked truth of life. Many can get swayed away like those young chaps willfully attacking women with words and baton.

It is great to be back here after a gap of few weeks……….!!!! :) :) :) :) :) Did you miss me??????

You might be wondering what the hell on earth is wrong with him. Well, I won’t be surprised even if you didn’t find it amusing. This is exactly how some of us communicate today! Isn’t it?

The exclamation and punctuation marks are used to create dramatization. We may not be good actors on stage but out here we leave no stone unturned, or should I say no punctuation as it should be, to exhibit emotions through our written communication. We intended to have our readers read much more than our sentences are capable of expressing.

Perhaps the idea is to give facelift to our written expressions by decking them up with exaggeration. A never ending ellipsis (… /….) might be applied to say, ‘dude, this is how far I went to bring my girlfriend back’, or ‘this was exactly the length of her cleavage, if I gauged it right’.

The funniest being multiple use of question mark (?) – ‘??????’. In my mind I can imagine only two things – anxious and frowning face of the grumpy sender or bandarwal (decorative-cum-good luck sign at the entry gate of the houses of Hindus).

:) :) :) :) Though does not appear to be as alarming and offensive as the ones above, yet it is hard to imagine the sender’s giggling face on laptop screen. All the more a tasteless imagination if the sender had two teeth missing from the front. :) 

Nonetheless an innovation of a sort by lingo laded communicators of today!

The only downside to this in my mind is underestimation of one’s personality. If I am inquiring about something from someone my purpose should be established by brevity and selection of appropriate words rather than wasting space and dirtying the slate like this. The language is already abused in many ways, referring to shorthand writing by netizens, leaving punctuation marhs to their original self can only do good.


There is no greater power than word power....Empower thyself! :) Koi shaq?

IIMs, ISBs - Janambhoomi of ‘mythical’ legends  

Although MBA is something that occupies a lot of bytes in my mind space; however, it never struck to me until today that it could be a matter to write about here. Having a branded diploma in MBA/PGDBA/PGDM (there must be more nomenclatures that I can speak off the cough) for sure assures a large sum of money and with it certain imagery among coworkers and those who are aware of the stamp on your back.

In my previous companies I never had MBAs from aspiring league so I had not much knowledge of how well received they are in real world. Of course, a sense of awe, the wow factor was always there for such colleges. Whereas my current organization is full of IITians, IIMs, ISBs, and some have in their immediate families Oxfords and Harvards of the world.  Yes, you have thought it right; I at times find myself out of place and dwarf among such giant figures.

But this is not the case that got me into writing this post. I am trying to look at it from brand perspective. How what we wear, where we eat, what we drive, where we live can create an impression among people, similarly where we have studied also creates imagery. Not just that, here I would like to stress that the former aspects are unwrapped gradually whereas having a stamp from an aspiring league spreads like fire in forest. There is sudden recognition, buzz around the workplace that such and such person from such and such institution has joined at such and such position at such and such package.

Mind you! It does not necessarily end here. Seldom people like to test your ability or to show you down. In all likelihood your intelligence is taken for granted and if you performed reasonably well, your co-colleagues will do the rest. How you are spoken about goes something like this – “Huh! he/she is from ISB/IIM; ought to be good. There acumen is very sharp; too good at grasping. I am sure one year of rigorous course has done this to him/her. Lucky him/her – ISB, IIM! Different league altogether you know!”

I hope I am not exaggerating but it gives a birth to LEGEND in you. As you move out of the brand factory, a mythical legend is already born in you then whether you actually end up doing something exceptional in your work life is beside the point. In whatever little I have seen of corporate, name of the college you come from is not just printed in your CV but also on the others lips. It is more like Chinese whispers – spreads from one to another.

I am not averse to the idea of MBA or related courses. I am sure they must do world of good in your understanding and overall personality. Yes, I am quite surprised at the fringe benefits that you get as dividend to hefty one time fees that you pay. It is largely to do with our society I believe which is so stuck up on names and titles that it does not let anyone get of the pedestal and recognize raw talent.

Either you get ready to take chances and stick to your guns for indefinite period to prove your mettle in corporate world or take a short but expensive route to have others salute you or, should I say, your label.

You can find your Hamburg in about 10,000 hours from now!

I had my heart in my mouth when a few minutes from taking the stage Partho said he was not sure what was he there for? And he had not done something like that for a long long time. He further added 90 minutes for him to deliver his message to that large an audience could be a bit too short a time.

Perhaps it could have been a disaster had it not for Parthos’ crystal clear thoughts and innate talent to calmly and quietly present himself before the audience. He is a 50 years old, posture slightly tilted forward, long salt-n-pepper hair, broad eyes, and shining face. His voice is his asset – it comes out so clean and clear like sound of water from the water fall. His style of speaking leaves one with awe.

However, you must be thinking that those who are articulate and sound terrific may not always be most relevant and lucid, but trust me he was. H e may have had little or no idea about why he was there but he had something worthwhile that he could leave behind with most of us present there. His style was benign, far from being forceful; he was neither a sage nor a corporate czar.

Before he proceeded further he set everyone’s expectations right by making a point that neither he was there to deliver a lecture nor did he expect to change anyone’s life for good. Most he could do was to open windows for those listening to him. He called himself an educationist who only knew how to bring one to know oneself. He did not understand corporate language – EBIT, Targets, etc. What he had was answers for some questions such as what are organizations made of, how ambitions could not be enough for a happy and content being, what is passion, love for work, and excellence.

 And he did succeed in opening windows for many, including me!

He made some statements which took many by surprise. He said “Ambitions are not good as they make you restless, angry, give birth to feeling of jealousy and politics in the cohort.” To which he further elucidated – Ambition should be replaced with attaining Excellence. And Excellence can only be achieved with calmness and patience. He spoke of Kungfu and football where terrific and excellent players/masters display stillness in being and calmness in midst of chaos and havoc. Those who are aiming Excellence are unhurt by successes of others; they are silently improving their own game even when others are taking the front stage.

In one of his answers of the audience question he said “Passion cannot be created for work”. He added, “You are in the wrong job if you are not passionate about it”. He then thought over what he just said for a while and responded to the next obvious question - what one should do then? You have a person dependent on a certain job and not passionate about it.

He came up with a flash of brilliance. He said one thing that all can be and should be passionate about is Excellence. You must look for excellence in whatever you are thrown into! And, in my personal opinion too, each one of us must have this approach as it not only can see us through our lives but can also make us meet what has always eluded us.

It is true in my case at least that I have mostly hoped for better and seldom tried to go deep into my work and master it in all possible senses. Usually for all of us the End takes precedence over the Means! In today’s times of struggle for survival what we need the most is awareness of ourselves and purity in action.

It is so true for a footballer that in midst of high decibel noise he takes the corner and with his poise he lifts the ball through the goalpost. He may be hearing those sounds but still he is connected with himself, listening to his heartbeat and joining every dot in his mind that takes him pass the goalpost. Stillness in action is the secret behind a man who in real sense has arrived in life.

Taking reference from Outliers, I sign out – You can find your Hamburg in about 10,000 hours from now! Those interested to know the story behind this phrase can write or call. Keep improving, keep rocking! 

Is doing the right job makes all the difference? Or, doing the job rightly does?

These are the two paradigms one often comes across. And interestingly we mostly hear from wise that how one does the job is all that matters. I can only speak for myself here, rarely have I come across people who are content with the job they are doing, leave aside the point of approaching it in an upright manner. I too at times find myself caught in this dilemma - Am I doing the right job? I don’t remember myself enquiring – Am I doing the job rightly? Yet, the popular notion is to do the job rightly than vice-versa.

It was heartening to listen to a sexagenarian Rickshaw puller on this subject the other day. This gentleman called Shyam has been carrying me to the bus stop in the morning and on the way sometimes we speak about him. On my request he talked about his approach towards his job and I found out that this person has been trying to do his job rightly for the last 32 years. And I think he is doing his job superbly well.

One could find pulling a rickshaw a curse and it truly is in many ways. Rickshaw pullers are usually subject to wrath by pillions – always accused of overpricing. They lead a dilapidated life, further antagonized by those sitting in air-conditioned cars and driving alongside. The kind of abuse these guys go through can drive any so-called civilized nuts.

Shyam carries a small frame of four feet something and has a deep hair line with a cluster of white hair at the centre and around his head. He also sports a white beard, wears a lungi and shirt, and his skin is shining dark brown. His voice is sharp and loud – unfettered and reflects content and cool in his head.

That day in his response Shyam spoke of goodwill, trust and more importantly routine. He sleeps at 1 am in the night because he has two regular passengers, brothers who own a shop in the market, at midnight. He drops them off at their residence and gets Rs. 40 (Rs. 20 from each brother). And this Rs. 40 that he earns in one go takes care of his daily Rickshaw rent.

Shyam lives in a single occupancy room because he fears theft and unruly roommates. He wakes up at 5am because water goes off at 7am; he likes to take proper bath before he starts for work. He has breakfast and is stationed at a point he takes me from by 7am. His daily expenses are around Rs. 250/- including Rickshaw rent, room rent and food – he eats only at hotels (read dhabas). He sleeps for three hours from 2pm to 5pm in one of the streets. Surprisingly, residents of that street guard him from theft as he by that point has about Rs. 200/- or more in his upper pocket. 

He has been ferrying rickshaw in a given radius for last three decades and that has earned him Goodwill and Trust, these are the exact words he used, of local shop owners and residents. He is entrusted by them to transfer valuables and receive payment on their behalf. He gets premium when he executes such jobs. Similarly, he has set of regular passengers whom he ferries day in day out. 

Shyam turned what could be the biggest setback of his life into an opportunity and developed an enterprising nature. A hard to keep routine of 32 years and patience has resulted in continuous income and that ‘eluding respect’ for him. He saves a modest amount of Rs.10,000/- every month after taking care of his own expenses that count up to Rs. 7,500/- per month. 

May be Shyam knew just too well how to go about his job rightly!

Sometimes knowing what we want is not that what it takes; knowing what we should not have or do can be all that matters

“Procrastination of thought is a reason for major suffering. Think deep, give yourself time to introspect, make a note of every feeling that gives you discomfort, howsoever fleeting it might be, understand the cause and effect, shift focus from outside to inside and change your karma for an evolved existence...”

A recent post by Gautam Vazirani on his Facebook wall caught my attention. I read it and moved on, but it kept on coming back to me. I found it particularly true in my case. There have been moments of sheer anguish owing to my being caught in a cocoon; a cocoon that developed as a result of being in rut; a rut because I failed to deliver on my thoughts. 

Thoughts are essential to any change; maybe they are the right foundation to all the necessary actions. I know what I need to let go off, yet it continues to cling onto me. I may know where I belong and what I need, but inability to take a definitive action to amputate what is not required could just be the last straw on the camel’s back.

It is easiest to be drifted and driven by hailstorm but only those who are steel strong from within are able to steer clear through dust particles and maintain a hawk’s eye on where they have to be.

As has been said above, a look inside is must for an evolved existence. May we all are able to connect better with the world inside us than we can ever with the world outside us. 

A neighborhood at an angle from 45* to -45* on my laptop screen

There is a unique, virtual neighborhood that exists on the right hand side of my laptop screen. Like any other neighborhood, this neighborhood too comes alive at the crack of dawn. The only difference being the dawn at this part of the world usually happens at around 9:00am. Here, my neighbors live in houses made of four different colors.

Green - given prominence at the top as the people living in these houses are often at leisure, welcoming, and interactive

Red – a blend of genuine and imposters. I say so because Red here signifies ‘being busy’ /‘may not be available’; however, not often that occupants of red houses are truly busy and unavailable. They are at times as relaxed as the ones in Green are, but for some inexplicable reason they choose to live in red houses.

Yellow – residents of this house leave the premise unlocked. They are there but somewhere hard to locate. Even incessant knocking won’t wake them up from slumber. They can only be found in neighbours house i.e. green or red, only when they chose to step from their own yellow houses.

Grey – The inhabitants here are modest and simple. They are on vacation, out of the virtual world.

The occupants of Green, Red and Yellow houses are more privileged than the ones in Grey. They are allowed to communicate indirectly with onlookers. They are provided a window through which they can vent out frustration, preach, request, plead, promote, and emote.

Just to satisfy the quest of an inquisitive lot, I have always been the occupant of Green house.

No prizes for guessing! The neighborhood I am talking about here is called Gchat or Gmail chat. It starts at an angle of 45* on our screens and could go up to – 45* when browsed fully. I myself have been a daily visitor here for many years now. It has been so long that I can’t even place the first time I came here.

Unlike in my real neighborhood, I have a set of favorite neighbors here who I talk to every day. Some I speak to in the morning, some in the afternoon and some in the night. There have been neighbors in the past I would talk to all through out the day. And such neighbors were all girls! :)

Since I am a Public Relations practitioner I have had neighbors who I would bother for work and always go to in the hope of a favor. Among them, those I failed to charm with my wit and suaveness ignored me and in some cases slapped the door on my face (here it means resorted to a Grey house).

This virtual neighborhood has many advantages over a real neighborhood. Here I could look through my neighbors a lot more frequently than I would ever do in my real neighborhood.  A flip side to this is that it has given a birth to an intruder in me. When doing nothing I would just scroll through my neighbors for no good reason.

Being here has also meant adrenalin rush and emotional damage. I have wooed girls, dated them, made love to them of course virtually, fought with them, and then again made up with them. There have been a few it got really messy with, and as an effect, much to my dismay, they relocated into Grey houses.

This neighborhood continues to be a favorite den among my pals for gossiping, bitching, flirting, and lending a shoulder to another pal to cry over his/her woes. However I may crib and dislike, it has only grown deeper into my life too. Now, I am always here through mobile!

For those interested to become my neighbor, my address is arpitgarg8@gmail.com ;)